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Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
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19 -Missing
Part 20

Topicus Confronts D'icus

Part XVIII


(For those who don’t know, and to let you know it is okay for me to be silly, Topicus was the great grandmother of Xena, forty times removed. She was better looking, had a prettier butt, and was the forerunner of the Women Marines and from her name we get the origin of Top. It has turned into a ‘series’ and I have done them by popular request...well at least Shooter asked me to, but he is a full bubble off center, too, so.... anyway it’s okay.)
- Cpl Royal

And it came to pass that Topicus was making a sojourn, alone, down toward the ‘Land of Cotton’ and was resting along side the upper Conasauga. Then the messages begin pouring in. There was a great rumbling of discontent among all the warriors from the four corners of the vast land that encompassed the many sub lands in which all the warriors abided. She had thought peace was restored and sent all the female and male warriors back to their respective lands. Now there was much discontent, spreading like the black plague all about the land. Messages were carried back and forth from every corner and were becoming quite volatile in nature. Topicus intercepted several of the messages, in as much as she was quite partial to pigeon stew, and became somewhat concerned. One message brought her up short. It was from one D’icus! D’icus was the monitor of messages sent from all the warriors across the land. Most if not all of the warriors were scribes of a sort. His majic staff could zap a warrior all the way to the vast blue waters. And now the warriors had suddenly and unaccountably gotten riled (again) and were getting out of hand. In order to sooth this motley crew D’icus injected some humor into the squabbling. It was simple and innocent on it’s face. Taken out of context he said, “...would be likened unto a breeder sow. HeeHee!”

Topicus's screech rebounded through out the ridges and hills round about her. The catfish bounded from the muddy Conasauga and into the reeds trying to escape the horrible oaths and epitaphs emitted from the flaming haired, and suddenly wild woman. Talk about red hair! You should have seen the rest of her! “Dirty, rotten man! Dirty rotten MEN! Just when I could bear them. I and my distaff warriors released the whole herd of them to go back to their lands (and to their sorry low down ways). And what do they do? They fall to fighting among themselves and casting their tiny barbs at those who control 100% of the ......Just wait!”

So, alone and swinging through the tree tops, Topicus made her way in the direction of the Land of Dust and the ‘monitor of scribes’, D’icus. He was busy and none to happy at the messages that he was digesting. Remember there were thousands of pigeons in and out with all the heated messages pouring in and they all the pigeons had to have a short rest, drink of water, and depart and you know what they did as they became airborne. The sight was not pretty, to the eye or the nose. So you can understand D’icus’s mood when Topicus came swooping down.

“Thy be the monitor of scribes, D’icus, or as you are called sometimes called ‘D’?” Topicus demanded to know.

“And who wants to know?” D’icus replied, “Where doth thy get the authority to come in here swinging thy ample butt through my tree tops. And what manner of woman dresses in skimpy fur wielding a scimitar that only the most manly warrior can handle?”

“Thy are one funny man, ‘D’! The brood sow remark must have brought many laughs from your ‘brothers’. Here is a reminder that the old days are gone.” Swoosh, swipe! The sword sang in the air. D’icus was suddenly standing on the stumps of his knees where his feet used to be. He suddenly went from 6 feet tall to just under 5 feet tall. Topicus’s eyes glowed as with hot coals. She spake (actually screamed) in a voice that terrified even the seasoned warrior, D’icus. “Doth thou understand now, ‘D’? The distaff warriors are not to be made sport of! What say you?? Two of thy appendages are have already been shortened. Wouldst thou like to try a little higher for the third?”

Needless to say an amiable agreement was reached. And all was well as they parted with countenances somewhat strained. All was well that is until Topicus got into the tree tops and sailed away. D’ icus heard her parting shot , “So long, shorty!”

Semper Fi,
Cpl. Royal
Royal P.I.T.A.

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created: May 21, 2004