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Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
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Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

Velcronius

Part V


In the cold north woods there was a land where the spase, half wild inhabitants existed on a strange yellowish substance. It is said that an ugly horned creature has a kind of liquid contained in it's body. These people squeeze a pale fluid from the creature's belly. They then feed it to the young of the villages. The remainder is allowed to rot and is then eaten by the whole populace! They have a game in which they grab parts of a dead pig and run to and fro in the ice and snow belting each other senseless. Some who watch yell themselves sill and truly seem to be a wild people. The combatants are responsible for preservation of the meat. They pack it in salt (thus the strange name for the team).

Well, far into the woods lived a Warrior and woodsman. He was called Velcronious. He had the image of a huge Norseman but could not because they had not yet been invented. Some called him Crow, and some called him Vel and some called him VC (VC only once due to the Troubles some years back!). He went about the woods inscribing stange images on the trees. Trees that he fell in one swoop of a mighty battleaxe that he had crafted from a new, shining and hard metal. A metal not seen before and would be the beginning of the end for the Bronze Age. Even though Velcronious was busy clear cutting forests, developing axes and drawing on blocks of wood he was still missing something.He had heard wild tales of many other lands and would set out on journey to find that which he was missing. He shoulderd his big axe, packed his gear onto his blue ox, which he called "Hon" and began his journey.

First Velcronious visited an old warrior who had ascended to high places of power and resided a few thousand leagues over by the big waters. Velcronious called out a bellowing salutation, "Hey, thy be O'Mighty? Mac O'Mighty?" The answer was none too pleasant, "Yeah slim, you got that right, now why art thou skulking around scaring the hell out of people and what be thy name, anyway?" The reply, "My name is Velcronious and I seek directions to the land of happiness." Well Mac O. was busy eyeing the shining battle axe. "I will trade thee this fine Jawbone-of-an-ass, and give thee directions, for that puny axe, bro." With that Velcronious turned and with a mighty swing toppled a fine old hardened oak. Thinking that caution was the better part of valor Mac O. hurriedly decided that he had better get this dude gone. He advised him to go south into the Far Blue Mountains. His parting words to Velcronious was, "there are rumors of many wild thangs down there. I am not sure of the term 'thang' but many good stories have been told." He gives the Crow a wink and sent him along.

It was a long and hard trip and after many leagues of climbing up and over many mountains he reached the summit of this range and cast his eyes about the peaks and valleys that were shrouded in blue mists."There be much smoke on these mountains" he spake unto himself. The after much pondering, "Yes sir, they indeed are some smokey mountains! I wonder what they are called?"

Down in the valley floor he saw a tiny figure in a little red outfit making her way along side a brook at the edge of a forest. He caught his breath as he spied a four pawed, vicious looking creature, tracking the little red clad girl. He jumped astride his big blue ox and was down the mountainside in a flash. Hon skidded to a halt, Velcronious dismounted LR style, and went crashing through bushes, his axe unlocked and loaded. As he was bearing down on the animal the girl, actually a small woman in red, cried, "Thy be nuts, man!!?? That be not a wolf, that be my dawg! He just covereth my flank to keep all manner of harm from me."

The wild woodsman from the north and the little woman in red stood eyeballing each other. He was thinking, "By Jove, I think I've got it! This be the Wild Thang"! She continued, "I be taking this basket of peaches to my sick grandma!" Then Velcronious, with an evil grin says," then I guess thy be Peachicus?"

There is more to this.

And in the meantime, Topicus is alone and wandering in another strange land far, FAR to the northwest. And in a mighty struggle with a big brown bear!

Signed,
Royal P.I.T.A.

e-mail Jim
created: Aug 8, 2003
Modified August 20, 2003